Be Fair to Yourself - Getting Rid of Homeschool Mom Guilt

We are absolutely harder on ourselves than we ever are on anyone else. Can anybody relate to that?

Give Yourself Grace

Think about your child coming to you with a math sheet they completed. It’s not perfect, but they really worked hard on it, and it is mostly complete. Most of it is correct, and they need some help with part of it. You’re not going to berate your child for their inadequacies. Instead, you’re going to praise them for the work that they did correctly and help them with the rest.

In the same way, you need to be fair to yourself. Give yourself grace, and allow yourself to celebrate your successes and don’t berate yourself for the areas you need to improve. Easily said but not so easy to do. So what can we do to help ourselves in this?

A Simple Way to Fight Mom Guilt

Here’s a really easy way to take the frustration of not feeling like you’ve ever done enough.

Make a record of what you’ve accomplished.

Seriously, it is as simple as that. Use a calendar, a planner, a notebook, loose-leaf paper that you can stick in a binder. Use a note app on your phone or computer, or add it as a task in your to-do list. Do whatever works for you and is SIMPLE, but just make a note of what you did.

First, write down the things you did each day. Write down the math pages that you did, the story that you read, the discussion that you had. If you had a playdate - include it! Went on a hike? Absolutely!

In addition to that, keep a simple piece of paper or use my lesson planner and check off or fill in each day. Then, when you feel really down in the dumps because the whole family’s been sick for five days and you’ve gotten no schoolwork done, look back at that calendar and see how many days you accomplished before sickness hit your house.

Celebrate All Learning Experiences

Look back at your list of all the books that you’ve read this year with your kids. Look and see all the learning that is taking place in your home. And don’t forget to count field trips.

We went to the beach this summer, and I counted every single one of those days as a field trip day because there is so much that my children were learning by being at the beach: observing the tides, catching various types of sea life, trying to build with sand.

Whatever you’re doing that is a learning opportunity—you go to the museum down the street with friends for an afternoon, there’s school. There’s learning. Playdates—you can use that as part of your school day because your children are learning so many aspects of life by interacting with other people. You go to the park. You go on a hike. Count it.

The Freedom of Record-Keeping

But more importantly than just counting it in your head, write it down. Check it off. Make a note. But keep some type of record. Even if it isn’t “required” where you live. Do it for your own peace of mind.

And do the same with your curriculum. Jot down each math page you complete. Somehow, somewhere keep track. Then on the days when everyone has been sick for a week and you haven’t “done any school” you can look back at the record of all you accomplished and remember that learning has taken place, and it will again.

I was talking to a friend this morning about this. She explained how recording their learning has helped her to recognize how much they really are accomplishing - and helped squash the mom guilt.

Even Teachers Don’t Do It All

Let me tell you something else. Teachers in schools don’t accomplish everything they set out to either. They want to get through the entire textbook, but snowstorms hit. Flu goes through the entire school, and kids are out for days on end. Testing gets in the way. Field trips, school assemblies, holidays… you name it.

And let’s just talk about humans. We are not robots. My former students were not robots. My children are not robots. We can’t just “plug and chug” when it comes to every aspect of teaching and learning. Some days feel like pulling teeth—they are slow or just plain painful. But other days, it just feels like we’re flying through the lessons, celebrating all the things that they’ve learned, or it just comes easily. That’s normal. It’s normal for it to be an ebb and flow.

Keep Track and Reflect

So do yourself a favor: keep track of what you have studied, learned, accomplished, and done. Record the experiences you’ve given your kids, even as simple as having a park playdate or going on a hike. Write down the book you read. Keep track of the little learning experiences, even with a quick jotted note.

Then, as you get halfway through the school year or toward the end of the year, and you feel the mom guilt start to pile on, look back. You can see what you’ve accomplished.

AND… you can take what you accomplished this school year and use that to make plans for the upcoming year. You can be realistic in your planning, and you can also determine where you need to go next based on what has been learned and what needs to be worked on in each subject.

Now, go grab a piece paper…